I usually write posts about mom life (like potty training jokes, flying diapers), my journey as a mother, sleepless nights, and my babies latest and greatest shenanigans (and trust me, I’ve got plenty more to share!). But today, I want to do something a little different, or, a lot different, actually. You usually see me make little comments about my goofy husband here and there, poking fun at him, but today, I want to talk to you a little bit more in depth about him, and husbands, fathers, brothers, and the men in our lives in general. Something that you don’t see a lot on mom blogs is the dad’s contribution to the parenting process, but it’s always there. My husband likes to do the work behind the scenes, but give me the credit of doing it all because he’s a sweetheart, but that’s not the reality of it.
The reason why I am sharing this today is because it’s something that I don’t normally share and I feel really bad for doing so. I was reading a beautiful mom blog the other day, written by Amy from foreverbeloved. Not only is Amy a beautiful person, but how she views the world and what she shares on her blog is truly inspiring. I admire her for her for not only her positivity and being such a great motivator for all parents, but for her love of marriage and for the way she speaks about her husband and her marriage. One in-particular blog post that I love is this one about the Hardness of Marriage. She has been married for 21 years, which is absolutely amazing. Hence, the reason behind today’s blog post is to share that it really takes two happy parents to have a healthy and happy home. Oh and another blog post (amoungst others) that is really awesome, is this one here about Finding Joy in the Journey.
So for today’s post, I want to write about all the dads out there who also take on an equal role as the mother when it comes to parenting, and give the men of our lives (husbands, fathers, grandfathers etc.) the true recognition they deserve.
1 ♥ I Couldn’t Do This Without You (Like, Seriously)
There are so many incredibly strong and independent women out there who are able to balance work, babies, and a social life without the need for anybody else (including a husband). And to you single mama’s out there who can do this, I salute you because I personally could never have the time, strength, or mental capacity to do so. I’ve always been kind of a hand-full, even for my parents, and when I met my hubby, I seriously relied on him more than anything to the point that it’s hard for me to understand how I ever even made it this far without him.
As I mentioned before in my infertility post, my husband was such an enormous support system for me when I became depressed and wanted to give up on trying for babies because I couldn’t get pregnant for nearly three years. But the one thing that kept me pushing was him. Even though I had friends and family around me that always supported me, it was always him. His support, his smile, his encouragement, his everything made me want to keep going (and it’s a good thing I did, otherwise I wouldn’t even be writing this blog post or even have ThinkBaby as my blog today!). And that’s the exact reason why you get married in the first place.
Honestly, as I’m writing this I’m truly realizing, what hasn’t he done for me? It’s crazy to me that I haven’t written a post sooner about this, and maybe this will inspire other moms to dedicate a post to appreciate their husband, or father, or grandfather as well for all that they’ve done. I actually stumbled across this blog the other day where this mama’s new year’s resolution was to make her husband a priority. She regularly blogs about it and I think this is a great idea! Love it! You can read her many blog posts about this on her blog here.
And during our first year of being parents when I wanted to yank my hair out 24/7, he was the one that was there to calm me down, and really, he was the only one that could. And now on our way through the terrible twos, he makes each tantrum we go through (like, 500 a day) bearable.
Like I mentioned above, I honestly feel that if I didn’t have my husband during our pregnancy journey, I never would’ve been happy, and I probably would have given up on being a mother all together (and that’s a scary thought). One blog page I stumbled upon known, essenceofchanell, has so many incredible posts about how much her husband has impacted her life as a parent, and completely turned her world around as well, and it warms my heart to see such recognition like this.
2 ♥ Life Is So Much Easier Because Of You
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my kids, but I think we can all relate when I say that sometimes at 3 am when you haven’t slept all week, need to be at work by 5 am, and the babies are still crying, you can get just a tad bit irritable (like, something similar to a deranged dragon on the loose). But the incredible thing about scenarios like this is that when I’m not able to take control, he does. I have never once had to ask my husband if he could check on the babies, or if he could stay up, it has always been a team effort that is accomplished without needing to even be spoken (dream man, right?).
As I mentioned in a prior blog post about my first baby, I was a stay-at-home mom while my husband literally went to work 12 hours a day and paid all the bills. I always felt so guilty for this, and could never understand how he could do it, but you know what? He did it anyway, without complaint, even though it was probably exhausting for him, because he knew that I couldn’t. And for that, I could never repay him. It’s not even just with our husbands though, think about your dad, or your grandfather. Have you ever considered all the sacrifices that they probably had to make to support the family or help out when you born?
One major inspiration for this post today was visiting my parents this past weekend, and my father telling me how he worked 5 jobs so that my mother could raise me and my brothers without having to add a 9 to 5 job on top of it. This blew me away, and really changed my perspective about my dad, and all men, for that matter.
3 ♥ You Are The Best Daddy I Could’ve Ever Asked for
And hubby, above everything else that you’ve done for me, you are the best father I could have ever chosen to have for my children. You have given me the most beautiful gift of life in our own 3 little mini me forms, and that is something I have never wanted with anyone else but you. I’ve mentioned my moods swings quite a bit with my babies, and how sometimes, I just want to go all Godzilla around the room and destroy everything, but my husband is always very calm, collective, and handles everything with ease.
If your husband is the same or has other attributes that you obviously don’t have yourself, it’s important that we recognize this, thank them for everything they do and give them recognition for they deserve and need. This is an important process of having a successful marriage and successful family unit. Just as you want to be appreciated, it’s equally important we don’t forget about our other half wanting the recognition they need aswell. I think this really hit home for me when I read this blog post about ways to uplift dads. This blog is by an amazing mom of twins and her blog posts really hit home for me every-time I read them, even though I don’t have twins myself, her momspiration and tips are worth every minute to read.
Not even just the kids going crazy, but he’s also able to deal with my crazy moments as well and remain totally calm about it all (seriously. Dream. Man.). But I recognize now that that’s because I’m the ‘crazy’ one (yes, I admit it) who’s always freaking out, and to balance that out, he needs to be the calm one, and he does it so naturally. And honestly, my dad is the exact same way. He’s always been the calm, easy, and optimistic one of my parents, and I see now that that’s because he needed to be.
A fellow mommy blog that I really love, wrote such a heart-touching post titled, The One. How Do You Know It’s Him? where she tells her whole story with her husband from meeting, to getting pregnant, and having babies, and how much her life changed because he was her one. This was such a beautiful post that I could relate to so much with my own husband.
I feel a lot of my friends currently going through a rough patch in their marriage, most especially when children come into the scene and perspectives change, marriages can tend to take a back-burner. However, it shouldn’t be like this. For a successful marriage, both need to work at it. No it’s not easy and it won’t be, but with love and persistence, it’s all worth it. Sometimes, you just have to remember, why you got married in the first place. This is especially true when I read comments online about some women giving advice to others going through marriage problems. Firstly, I don’t believe anyone should ever advise someone to leave a marriage, and it’s actually scary because people do!
I actually just saw a beautiful little blog post by wholemademama which sums up my whole blog post, for my husbands & sons where she talks about recognizing them for all that they’ve given her and their importance in parenting and society. I think posts like these are so important because I feel they’re lacking in the mama blog community. It’s heartbreaking to me because parenthood, in most cases, is never a one-sided effort.
Overall, our fathers, grandfathers, sons, and husbands should always be cherished just like anyone else. Parenthood isn’t a one-woman job, and it takes two people to even get to that point. If you are fortunate to have a loving husband, incredible father, or sweet little brother, make sure you always remind them how much they mean to you and how much you cherish having them. Because without them, we certainly wouldn’t be who we are or where we are today in life, in love, and in heart overall.
So it’s true, no matter how much we take on as mothers, there is an opposite but equal role when it comes to parenting, and that my friends is the role of our husbands and fathers to our children. For another great read, be sure to check out Jenn’s open letter to my amazing husband over at thischaoticbliss.