I think all of us baby-obsessed mama’s can agree that motherhood is the most beautiful, exciting, and incredible blessing a woman could receive. Not only the journey of getting pregnant, the incredible 9 month pregnancy, or even giving birth, but the actual opportunity of raising, teaching, and caring for your own little baby. But of course, as with anything, motherhood is definitely a huge learning process with a lot of ups and downs.
I only ever see mommy bloggers talking about only the good parts of motherhood and all the happy moments, but I never see anybody talk about the struggles, or what it truly means when you become a mom (and it’s a lot different than you think).
Even though I haven’t gone through the entire process of raising my child to be an adult yet (heaven have mercy the day I do), I do have to say that over the course of these past few years with my 3 babies, it has been a wild ride that has been a major life-changer for my husband and I already. So today, I want to expose the complete truth of parenthood, the not-so-ideal moments, and the most important lessons I’ve learned that other moms can definitely relate with, smile about, and add onto!
I came across this beautiful blog by another mommy blogger, Amber and her blog called, ThemimosaMom. She writes about all things motherhood, style, lifestyle travel and so much more. Her website is absolutely stunning to look at and she shares some really awesome information for new mothers. The reason why I’m mentioning her today is because of one of her blog posts in-particular, My First Years of Motherhood, where she wrote about this exact same topic as I do today. Thank you to Amber for giving us the inspiration for today’s blog post and giving us all the inspiration everyday of being better parents. I would highly recommend you take a look as her blog if it interests you aswell.
1 ♥ Patience, Everything Happens With Time
We all know that parenthood is going to take a lot of patience (like, to the point that you’ll find yourself taking a deep breath, grabbing hold of your 4th cup of coffee, and repeating the words, “inner peace” over and over again to calm yourself down). But in all seriousness, maybe a quick yoga session or 8 cups of coffee a day isn’t the best answer.
Before writing this post, I was glancing through various postings on the unique little mommy blog, AnimalCrackerStudio, and I have to say, I was rather impressed with all the tips and tricks that this awesome mama was writing about! She mentioned everything from self care for moms, to mom hacks, and even learning patience (what hasn’t she written about?). I bring this up because I would strongly recommend that every new mom has a look at her heart-touching little blog, as I feel it has all the necessities we all need to learn in our adventure of motherhood.
I’m the kind of gal that likes to stick to a strict day-by-day schedule, and as I’m sure you can guess, I had to make a huge transition from this when I became a mom because babies don’t really follow a schedule (Plus, is a strict parenting schedule even recommended?) This certainly wasn’t easy, and I was always fighting to have it the way I planned it, but every time she didn’t stick to the sleep schedule, didn’t potty train as quickly as I hoped, didn’t eat the baby food I made her, or cry when I would try to sleep in her crib (I even tried a co-sleeper as a suggestion from a friend), I would just about lose it.
During this time, I was constantly irritable, frustrated, and stressed for the entirety of the first year of my first borns life, because my unrealistic expectations for sleep always failed me (is sleep even possible with a baby?). But you know what? This isn’t what motherhood is about, and there should never be a time limit or schedule for this bonding period of teaching and learning to occur. “Patience,” my husband would always remind me in the moments I felt like pulling my hair out. He was always so much happier than I was with our baby during the first few months, and I realize now that was because he didn’t expect anything with her, he just tackled each problem as it came, and honestly, that’s exactly what I and every new mother needs to learn to do.
2 ♥ It’s More Than OK To Ask For Help
Okay, it’s definitely not a secret that parenting is hard. Any momma who says parenting is easy definitely hasn’t dealt with my kids for 5 minutes (don’t even get me started on the diaper incident). But something I unfortunately see happening frequently amongst my fellow moms is that cursed hesitation to ask for help. My closest friend just this past week came to me complaining about how exhausted, frustrated, and stressed she is right now with balancing work and her babies (twin newborns – yikes!), and how she can’t bring herself to ask for help. She’s also in school to get a degree, and is falling behind in her classes because she feels like she can’t make time for herself without feeling guilty (bless her heart). I will admit I felt this exact same way with my first baby, and I would beat myself up when I didn’t know what to do, or when I needed time to rest and refused to take it (and I wouldn’t even mention it to my husband). If this sounds like you, take a read of this blog post by MadetoMommy on mom guilt.
And now, I wish I had gotten the help I so desperately needed back then as it would’ve made everything so much easier! Here’s the thing, we are all new to parenting at one point or another, and we aren’t supposed to be experts or always know what to do. And believe it or not, grandma who is a magician with babies now wasn’t always that way, and it took her countless wins and failures to get there. It’s important to have goals and dreams outside of your baby, and your own personal journey of realizing you don’t have to put other aspects of her life on hold because of your baby. We have also discussed more about this in our recent blog post about how to look after yourself and your relationship with your husband when you first have a baby. You can read more about our Self Care Blog Post For New Moms Here.
Just remember, what truly defines motherhood is the willingness to stand by your baby no matter what, but that doesn’t mean you have to stand alone.
3 ♥ Savor Every Single Moment (Even The Difficult Ones!)
Kids grow up so quick (like quicker than you can chug a pot of coffee in your first year as a new parent), and if you’re a soon-to-be parent and don’t believe how quick it goes now, honey, having your own baby will be a huge wake up call for you! When you have a baby, years truly feel like days, and each second feels like it slips away quicker than any other moment in your whole life. And, on top of that, the journey of parenting while still balancing a full-time job makes it go even quicker. For this reason, it is so important to savor every single moment in your life, especially the ones with your baby. Even on those nights when you’re exhausted and haven’t slept for 3 days, as hard as it is, savor that moment, because it won’t last forever. An extremely useful website known as, HabitatforMom, has a beautiful article about bonding with your newborn even in not-so-ideal scenarios (like changing diapers!). She has helpful tips on how to do this in every little thing you do with your baby, which has been an enormous help to me in my transition into motherhood (especially during all those endless tantrums!).
Just remember, these moments don’t have to be big and extraordinary to be special, just simply spending time together will be some of your most memorable moments you’ll ever have.
Overall, while these may seem like simple things that every woman knows, you would be amazed at how quickly it is to forget them during the fast-paced journey of parenthood. Just remember, parenthood isn’t something you should ever fear, rush, or put pressure on. In the end, being a parent isn’t about what you gave up to have a child, rather, it’s about everything you’ve gained by having one, so enjoy the journey as it comes because these little moments certainly won’t last forever.